We believe Christian soul formation must take into account these early influences. Alan Jones describes this growth in awareness as “waking up.” We awaken to who, what, and how we were first formed in our earliest relationships. This is often not simply an enlightening experience. It can be painful and scary. As a result people often want to know what to do as they become aware of things. When faced with the question, “What do I do now?” the most important thing is to simply attend to what you are noticing.  This is why the disciplines of solitude and silence is so important.

Solitude and silence are the disciplines which provide the space and stillness needed to listen deeply to our soul and the voice of God. Without the capacity to quiet and still the soul the Christian life becomes pretty much a journey of spiritualizing our neurotic and compulsive tendencies in order to feel safe. Deep, substantial soul transformation calls for stillness before God, and a quiet listening to God. Our desire to do the next step is indicative of our compulsiveness to act. Often when we prematurely start “doing” we attempt to resolve issues within our souls by the very same ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving which created the difficulties and dilemmas in the first place.

Solitude and silence are the means by which God can speak into the deepest terrain of our soul. After all, we believe the work of transforming our souls is the work of the Holy Spirit. Solitude and silence are disciplines that foster the soul’s trust of the Spirit’s presence and His work of transformation. He has begun a good work in us, and He will bring it to completion.

As a Christian, don’t worry so much about what is next; rather intentionally seek to be attentive to the presence of God within you. Grow in your perception and realization that your life is held in Christ, and that you live in union with the Triune God. That will be enough for now!

Using shepherds as the first spokespersons of the One who brings peace on earth is instructive. Meditating on the implications serves to prepare our hearts in Advent.

Two things surprise me about the shepherds being God’s choice to ‘advertise’ the coming of the Savior. First, shepherds were the last group in that society who would be considered credible. Religiously, they could not participate in worship because they were usually ceremonially unclean (when they touched dead animals). Socially, they were outcast because they tended to disregard the property rights of others (they often stole things while grazing their flocks on land that belonged to others). Legally, they could not serve as witnesses in a court of law (because they were considered unreliable).

That is the group that God used as witnesses to the birth of Jesus? Surprising to say the least! I can see how the wisemen were good witnesses because of the respect they commanded. But shepherds? Since God used shepherds then in seems that ALL of us are invited to be spokespersons of what we have heard and seen in Jesus. Our short-comings and failures are no excuse for being silent.

The second thing that strikes me goes even deeper. Somehow the shepherds were the very kind of people who could speak authentically of the core reality of the Good News. The Good News of the life and death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus matches the ‘upside-down’ life of the shepherds. The Good News says the poor in spirit are given the kingdom of God, those who mourn receive comfort, the meek inherit the earth. The upside-down message of the Gospel is that grace freely flows to those who least deserve it, that mercy is showered on those who embrace their brokenness, that forgiveness cannot be earned but only received by faith.

In short, the Good News the shepherds so effectively shared (“all who heard them were astonished”) makes it clear that it is in dying that we are raised to a new kind of life, that it is in surrender of our ‘old self’ that we are able to live into our ‘new, true self’, that in pardoning we are pardoned. Upside-down people are exactly the right group to proclaim this upside-down message!

I am surprised by the shepherds. Somehow they and the message they made known prepares my heart to celebrate the birth of my Messiah by sharing the message considered by many to be ‘foolish’ (1 Corinthians 1:18-25) even though I am flawed like them.

“Sometimes I allow the world to show you its true colors. I let you feel all sorts of different emotions. I do this so you may know how inconstant this life is, and so you’ll be more eager to look for your home in eternal life.

“The eye can’t see, the tongue can’t describe, and the heart can’t imagine how many paths I walk, solely for love. I’ll lead you all back to grace so My truth may be realized in you. I want to do this because My love for you can;t be measured and also because of your prayers and cravings and sufferings.” — Catherine of Siena, Dialogue

For some reason, in the middle of our time together, I remembered my days coaching my son’s little league baseball teams. Many times the same mistakes cost us games. After a particularly dreadful losing stretch I started the next practice by holding up a ball and saying, “This is a baseball!” I felt I had to start at Square One (maybe it was ‘Round One’!) in order to remind them of what they knew.

I had the same feeling with the dear couple in front of me. They knew the truth. They had ‘played the game’ well in the past. But now the unforced errors were taking a huge toll. None of us doubted they were losing their marriage. Could they find a different way to be with God and each other? Could they get back to Square One and build from that?

But what is Square One in Christian spiritual direction? I did my best to remind them of what they knew. From the day of our birth (and I believe even before) we have only two categories for our experiences. Either they are ‘good’ or they are ‘bad’. When a baby is hungry the child emotionally knows things are ‘bad’. When looking into the smiling eyes of her mother the child knows things are ‘good’. And though we develop many descriptive words around our emotional responses as we grow into adulthood, we still have deeply within our soul the same two categories—‘good’ and ‘bad’.

The good news about ‘good’ emotional experiences is they make us ‘receptive’. The bad news about ‘bad’ emotional experiences is they make us ‘reactive’. The general rule of the soul is that communion and community require a receptive state of heart and mind. Little good seems to come from a reactive stance.

Clearly the couple was in a reactive state toward each other. And nothing good was coming from it. In fact, we had to stop talking about the incident. Toxic reactivity was poisoning everything. Instead we worked to find a couple of practical ways to find a neutral place in the next few weeks. I pray that they will be able to do that. I pray that they will be able to find a way to be receptive toward each other in the future. I believe that would prove to be Square One for them.

Later in the day I reflected on what had transpired in our session. Spiritual direction seeks to hear God with another. But to truly hear one must be in a receptive state. I began to wonder how often my direction (and indeed my life) is operating from an emotionally implicit reactive state of heart and mind toward God? Yes, I cognitively know that God loves me, that God sent Jesus into the world to reveal His love for me and to reconcile me, that God has given me the Spirit to lead and empower me. Thankfully, my doctrine declares those realities to be true. But I (along with every other baby) figured out good and bad before I had a capacity for doctrinal declarations. Has my experience of God truly and deeply penetrated my soul so that I am emotionally convinced that God belongs in the ‘good’ category? In short, how well am I able to truly hear what God is saying to me and to those with whom I quietly wait in God’s presence?

Many people experience difficulties which could easily push them into a reactive state toward God. Some resist this impulse and stay receptive toward God. Their receptivity opens them to a rich relationship with their Lord. Unfortunately, some become reactive toward God and the relationship devolves into a ‘God said/I said’ clash where spiritual separation, if not divorce, seems inevitable.

For me, Square One in Christian spiritual direction is summarized in Romans 8:31-39. God is for us. God is for you. God is for me. That falls into the ‘good’ category! Since that is true we can be and in fact will be receptive in our heart of hearts. We don’t have to react with compensatory defenses around our fear, shame, and anger. Instead we can hear and respond to the small, still voice that says, “I am the loving God who is for you.”

Watching them teaches me about living by faith. I know they are simply following their instincts. But their instincts make them appear to be very trusting. They seem to assume there will be food and water and a place to live. It really does seem like a life of faith!

Why is it that the birds have this life of faith down better than me? Why is it that birds only do and be what they were created to do and be, while I, though created in the image of God, am constantly trying to re-create myself? They chirp, sing, build nests, and fly so effortlessly. But I struggle to find faith to be my ‘true self’.

I would like for my faith in Christ’s work in me to be instinctual. I long to trust Him completely, quickly, constantly. Jesus tells me that not one sparrow falls to the ground without Him knowing about it. Surely He knows me. Surely I can trust Him. As best I can I am. I believe and have come to know that Christ is at work in me, slowly transforming me into the true self He created me to be. He’s teaching me how to ‘fly’ in faith.

The birds teach me about trust, about faith, about ‘trying out my wings’ of my true self in Christ. They live by faith. So can I, “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).     By Joy Cofield

It would be monstrous were God’s decree that sin shall merit death prove to be false. Justice must prevail for God to be God. But it would be unworthy of God’s goodness were God to let his handiwork, his crowning creation come to nothing. Mercy must prevail for God to be God. So Christ enters our story and accomplishes what we cannot accomplish on our own.

Love (which includes both justice and mercy) is the motivation for Easter (John 3:16). It is a love which is unconditional but not uninterested. Love which gives without reserve but without desire of return can never be anything but the energy of an absolute debt. Love that is inseparable from an interest in the other is truly selfless because it delights in the splendor of the other.

Simply put, God loves us because God delights in us (Song of Songs 7:10 “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me”). God’s love is one of recognition and delight, desiring all and giving all at the same time, giving to received and receiving to give.

A ‘uninterested’ love reduces the other to a mere formality. But Easter is a love entreating us to be loved and to love in return. It is a love which liberates us from debt because love must, in the divine economy, be returned. This is the love of the Trinity into which we are brought by Easter. We love because God first loved us!

Blessed Easter to you from all of us here at CrossPoint.

Born in England in 389 he was captured by pirates and taken to Ireland as a slave at the age of sixteen. After six years he escaped and made his way back to England only to feel the call to return to Ireland as a missionary. From 432 to 462 he worked among the Celts of Ireland and, despite the efforts of Druid priests God used him to make the island a strong center of Celtic Christianity.

Most mornings my wife and I read and pray together. One of our favorite prayers to recite is one attributed to St. Patrick. It is worth memorizing.

Christ, as a light

illumine and guide me.

Christ, as a shield

overshadow me.

Christ under me;

Christ over me;

Christ beside me

on my left and my right.

This day be within and without me,

lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.

Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;

in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.

This day be within and without me,

lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.

Christ as a light;

Christ as a shield;

Christ beside me

on my left and my right. Amen.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

The inspiration of the games reminded me of what Paul said about athletes. He honored them by offering his readers this illustration–”Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize … All athletes practice strict self-control” (1 Corinthians 9:24, 25). Only a consuming vision of the prize can generate such self-control. One doesn’t win without sacrifice.

But Paul’s lies beyond the thrill of the games. “You also must run in such a way that you will win” (verse 24). He continues with how the games have impacted his life–”I run straight to the toal with purpose in every step … I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should” (verses 26, 27). His motivation and ours is clear. “The athletes do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize” (v. 25).

An ‘eternal prize’ … what is that? Will Jesus award gold, silver, bronze medals? Are these reserved for those who perform best before they get to heaven? And what about the issue of disqualification that worried Paul (v. 27). Was he concerned about missing heaven, or an eternal reward or both or neither?

Earlier in the Book of 1 Corinthians Paul spoke of a judgment day that would be a time of testing of what one had done (in 3:12 he talks about gold and silver, but bronze is substituted by ‘jewels’!). In his second book to the Corinthians he again talks about standing before Christ to be judged in order to receive “whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in our bodies” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

Christians disagree on what all this means. Some say Jesus has special rewards for those who did an exceptional job in this life (they point to the parables of talents and the New Testament’s mention of crowns given to those who meet certain qualifications). Others say that all who are arrive in heaven are rewarded equally. Others say none of us will receive rewards of special merit because anything that was done on earth for good was the result of Christ’s work through us. He gets all the crowns (see Revelation 4:10; 19:12).

I used to have a definitive answer to these (and similar) questions. Now things are more mysterious! But of this I am sure–I want to be dedicated to God and to the Divine invitation I have received. I know when I’m not and that bothers me. I know when I have done my best and that humbles me. I know I want to do what I do for Christ, not for crowns. I know I want to be in communion with Him by His Spirit more than I care about any sort of public recognition. I know I want to hear, “Well done, my good and faithful friend” simply because I love Jesus.

And I know that the athletes in the Olympic games have renewed my desire and dedication and devotion to the One who is the eternal Prize for all who love Him.

Today we bump up against our own mortality, our own weakness, our own ‘falling short’ of the glory intended for us as human beings in the image of God. We realize again that our sin and death are real. We realize again the relational consequences of our brokenness. If we didn’t know how our journey ends we would not and could not face a day like today.

But we do know how our journey ends and this gives us the motivation to enter a time of deep soul searching. We quiet our souls before the Spirit, asking to be known as we are known so that we can more fully humble and surrender ourselves to Christ. He gives us the life we want. But before that life is birthed anew in us, something has to die within us. Many things have to die. But our False Self doesn’t go quietly. Paul said our ‘flesh’ is at war against the Spirit and we are never free from this conflict (Galatians 5:17).

If we spend extra time in solitude and silence before Easter we will see more clearly the war within. Sometimes we must face the reality of our brokenness in a more intentional manner. When we do we will find ourselves yearning for our full salvation in Christ.

“Spirit of Jesus, bring to our minds what we need to confess and bring to our hearts what we need to be comforted so that we are drawn more fully into the likeness of the One who loves us and gave Himself for us. Amen”

I get a sense of my ability to trust by looking at the ’attachment pattern’ in which I habitually operate. Do I trust myself but not others (an ‘avoidant’ attachment pattern)? Do I trust others but not myself (an ‘ambivalent’ attachment pattern)? Do I have a hard time trusting myself or others (a ‘scattered’ attachment pattern)? Any of these general patterns limit my ability for intimacy. I have to be able to trust another to be vulnerable. I have to be able to trust myself to have something to give another.

Thankfully, the Gospel is not only an invitation to intimacy with the Triune God but also a means by which God graciously nurtures a level of trust that makes the invitation a reality. Our sin nature, family of origin, and life’s difficulties (e.g. being betrayed) can leave our ‘trust’ level low or one-sided (e.g. ”I trust me but not you”). But over time, the Gospel of grace ministered through a loving community changes that. God’s unconditional love toward us in Christ and the nurturing of a grace-based church will slowly shift an avoidant or ambivalent or scattered way of attaching to one that is stable, solid, and life-giving.

 How I relate is how I relate. I may feel I have a deep relationship with God. But if I cannot sustain a deep level of intimacy with another human being I need to ask some hard questions of myself (“If we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen?” - 1 John 4:20). I may find an attachment pattern deep within my soul that keeps me from truly experiencing Christ’s presence.

“Father, Son, and Spirit, do a work of grace in my life so that I, from the core of my being, trust you and trust myself to you. Amen”